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Literature Text
The Story of a Barber</u>
Good evening creatures with intellect sharper
This is a story of a barber
Not a butcher, baker or sharecropper
But a man perhaps a little… naaauuughty
He is tall, skinny and wears a suit of green
In stature people say he is lean
His face ever happy, he is never mean
Only occasionally is he… naaauuughty
His name you may already know
For many of you have seen the show
But for those who haven’t, this’ll only take a mo,
His name is Fred
Fred likes to shave, in fact he does crave
The need to shear and never save
Hair for him is a way to pave
A path leading him to be… a little naaauuughty
Animal or person it doesn’t matter
Hair on the previous or the later
He’ll cut and groom, it’ll never shatter
He’ll always be somewhat… naaauuughty
The story we know and love the most
He traveled by bus from coast to coast
To the middle of Nowhere like a ghost
Telling us how he was… naaauuughty
Arrived he did with a wonderful greeting
His aunt at the door began his meeting
Of the family who for the most part were treating
Fred like he was… naaauuughty
He was soon trapped with a little dog dear
In a bathroom, where Fred felt a little queer
I mean in the archaic sense, just to be clear
With his shaver he felt… He, ha, ha, ha
In the bathroom Fred did tell
Stories of his youth in a nutshell
Several important parts toned a bell
In his mind that demands he be… naaauuughty
A pet he received, what a darling gift
The cage it was in he did lift
Seeing inside a hamster who would later be miffed
Because Fred would be… naaauuughty
Next was his love, all dressed in lace
Barbara was her name, with a beautiful face
But after Fred got a naughty taste
He realized she… needed space
Never again was he naughty…
Well… maybe not ever…
Into his shop strutted a long haired man
A beard with which he could hide a van
Fred couldn’t resist, I doubt anyone can
Not to be… in a certain mood
Most recent was the shaving of Courage
A doggy dog that couldn’t discourage
Fred from taking out his barber luggage
And being… you know
Courage hid and Courage screamed
Fred stared at him with a fixation it seemed
Over the fur covered pooch he leaned
And he got… quite naaauuughty
Almost all of his fur did Fred cut
By the end Courage was a bald little mutt
Fred couldn’t help but dance and strut
He felt so wonderfully… naaauuughty
But Fred wasn’t mean, he wasn’t malicious
Just that shaving was so delicious
It made him feel so felicitous
It made him feel… naaauuughty
His story ends I’m afraid with his capture
And hasty, escorted departure
Though never did fail his stature
Our hero, ever doughty.
Good evening creatures with intellect sharper
This is a story of a barber
Not a butcher, baker or sharecropper
But a man perhaps a little… naaauuughty
He is tall, skinny and wears a suit of green
In stature people say he is lean
His face ever happy, he is never mean
Only occasionally is he… naaauuughty
His name you may already know
For many of you have seen the show
But for those who haven’t, this’ll only take a mo,
His name is Fred
Fred likes to shave, in fact he does crave
The need to shear and never save
Hair for him is a way to pave
A path leading him to be… a little naaauuughty
Animal or person it doesn’t matter
Hair on the previous or the later
He’ll cut and groom, it’ll never shatter
He’ll always be somewhat… naaauuughty
The story we know and love the most
He traveled by bus from coast to coast
To the middle of Nowhere like a ghost
Telling us how he was… naaauuughty
Arrived he did with a wonderful greeting
His aunt at the door began his meeting
Of the family who for the most part were treating
Fred like he was… naaauuughty
He was soon trapped with a little dog dear
In a bathroom, where Fred felt a little queer
I mean in the archaic sense, just to be clear
With his shaver he felt… He, ha, ha, ha
In the bathroom Fred did tell
Stories of his youth in a nutshell
Several important parts toned a bell
In his mind that demands he be… naaauuughty
A pet he received, what a darling gift
The cage it was in he did lift
Seeing inside a hamster who would later be miffed
Because Fred would be… naaauuughty
Next was his love, all dressed in lace
Barbara was her name, with a beautiful face
But after Fred got a naughty taste
He realized she… needed space
Never again was he naughty…
Well… maybe not ever…
Into his shop strutted a long haired man
A beard with which he could hide a van
Fred couldn’t resist, I doubt anyone can
Not to be… in a certain mood
Most recent was the shaving of Courage
A doggy dog that couldn’t discourage
Fred from taking out his barber luggage
And being… you know
Courage hid and Courage screamed
Fred stared at him with a fixation it seemed
Over the fur covered pooch he leaned
And he got… quite naaauuughty
Almost all of his fur did Fred cut
By the end Courage was a bald little mutt
Fred couldn’t help but dance and strut
He felt so wonderfully… naaauuughty
But Fred wasn’t mean, he wasn’t malicious
Just that shaving was so delicious
It made him feel so felicitous
It made him feel… naaauuughty
His story ends I’m afraid with his capture
And hasty, escorted departure
Though never did fail his stature
Our hero, ever doughty.
Yes, I did it, I did my own narrative of Freaky Fred. Though not as funny or right in the head, I think it's okay, at least the humour isn't dead.
But seriously, I found Fred's poem to be a lot more funny and a lot less serious, where as mine isn't, that's where it lacks.
Oh well, "Ode to Freaky Fred", just because he deserves it as a wonderful character, and because he's my favorite of the CTCD "villains"
Freaky Fred: John R. Dilworth
Poem: Me
But seriously, I found Fred's poem to be a lot more funny and a lot less serious, where as mine isn't, that's where it lacks.
Oh well, "Ode to Freaky Fred", just because he deserves it as a wonderful character, and because he's my favorite of the CTCD "villains"
Freaky Fred: John R. Dilworth
Poem: Me
Comments48
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He's my Favorite villain; because there are much more depraved & more Psychopathic Villains in the show; who have tried to kill Courage & his owners. . .